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| photo by Mr.DomDom |
"If this happens one more time I´ll quit!" How often have you already thought this? How often have you thought (after collapsing into your bed after a heavy work day) that if you were the one in charge, it would all have been better? Do you sometimes go home with an angry or desperate feeling in your stomach? It´s all good, honey, you are normal. As soon as there is more than one person involved in a process, problems are destined to come up. That´s just what happens in communication, it´s human. Nonetheless there is no reason to feel unhappy all the time. You need some change. Here I have 5 quick tips to improve your interpersonal skills:
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| cute stationary by poppies for grace. |
♥ Talk about it! Now!
We often don´t like to talk about things that are a bit unpleasant and awkward. It´s so much easier to just go and let matters rest. Rather forget about it than talk it out. The thing is: You only think that you will forget about it, but you are fooling yourself. You won´t. You are just collecting all that feelings in a jar until BOOOOOOM! you burst! This is highly unprofessional (apart from being very embarrassing once the anger subsides and is replaced by weird silence and everyone looking at you). You don´t want to be the new Miss Dynamite, right? If you are feeling really angry about something I suggest you wait until you calm down a bit more to convey your message as the slick girl that you are! In such a situation I need to write my thoughts down, otherwise I´ll forget about them as soon as I am back to cool mode. Plus: it´s always easier to talk about something difficult if you have your notes as a backup in case your mind goes blank out of nervousness or because things get fuzzy. Be calm and be fair. Everything else from there will be a piece of cake.
♥ Stand up for yourself!
If you think you are being treated in an unfair way, there is no way you have to or should put up with it. There´s always two sides of a story: Those who treat others bad and those who accept it. You have to teach others how you would like to be treated. I have been bullied a lot as a child and it has taught me important lessons about setting my own limits and body language. I am no dominant person, I try to solve things in a positive and friendly way, but if I feel like I am being taken advantage of, I will stick up for myself. This also means giving the other person a solution to my problem. So if somebody told me for example "That´s bullshit! You are completely wrong!" I would answer "Now let´s stick to a more civilized selection of vocabulary. I don´t mind you uttering your opinion, but this can be done in a much politer way. I would appreciate that." You are always free to choose how you like to be spoken to and to guide people to that direction.
♥ Admit your mistakes
That´s hard. Admitting your mistakes makes us seem less perfect. And since perfection is what your media driven society strives for, we really want to fit into that frame. But I tell you: if you did wrong and you messed up something, owning up to it will give you freedom and ease of mind. Because if you don´t do it, somebody else will have to take the blame. And let me tell you: that´s not a big crowd pleaser once word goes around that you are a pain in the bum when it comes down to trouble and solving it. You don´t have to make yourself small and have a whiny voice. Just say the truth. "That´s my fault. I´ll do it better next time."
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| cupcakes found here. |
♥ Share your food
What? Why that? And just to make it clear: I do not mean your lunch. I mean little goodie goodies like chocolate, fresh fruits or fine candy. Whatever you think is best. (Smarties always work somehow *lol*) It´s a good way to make friends with that woman that you have hardly ever talked to (but she wears the coolest shoes ever). Or the cleaning lady. (what´s her name? Do you know?) It´s also good for making up for a faux pas. A piece of Lindt´s good old Lindor truffles never fails.
♥ Ask. Then ask again.
You don´t have to know everything and sometimes it´s much better to get some help. Don´t be too proud or to afraid to ask. You´ll never learn something new. You´ll never learn how to do things better. If you don´t understand something on the first run, ask again! I beg you! I sometimes have to manage quite large projects and I´d rather have my co-workers approach me one more time than to sit down and do something that is not what I wanted them to do. We have a really good communication flow at my work, so something like this doesn´t happen. It really pays off. Rather annoy somebody than invest time into walking down the wrong lane.
I hope this works for you! If you want to give any additional advice for our readers, please feel free to type them into the comment section below! I would love to know how you handle difficult situations.
5 things I am thankful for today:
- coming home and falling asleep for 2 hours straight. I love sleep.
- ordering a fuzzy bear hat from etsy
- heading for the countryside over weekend --- with the cats!
- buying a cat pullover tomorrow so Norman Crystal won´t lick his wound anymore and doesn´t have to wear that cone on his head. He´ll look so cute. I´m afraid I will be one of those pet dressing girls afterwards.
- blogging. I love to write.
Love, marshmallows and relaxed weekend yawns,
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