|Mrs. Robinson talks.|
There are only two modes: You are either on or off the gossip bus. You are either talking about others behind their back or you are not. And to be honest: I think most of us do. Right? It must not necessarily be the mean kind of gossip. But we do talk. So what does it do to us? Why aren´t as comfortable with it all as we would like to be? After all: What´s the big deal? Let me take you on a short trip to chit-chat island.
1. Oh the embarrassment! Let´s start off with the most obvious one: You´ll get heard. If you don´t happen to drop the words directly within range of audibility (high go-tomato factor!) there´s always somebody else to do the job for you. People will know that you are a talkative lady and once you have that reputation … well, probably not what you were going for in the first place. Many will stop to trust you with secrets. One way or another you can end up being an outsider. Maybe not too obvious, but surely when it comes down to important stuff. Ouch.
2. It works both ways. Mostly those who gossip are afraid that others might talk bad stuff behind their back too. You are being harsh on yourself. You have to strive for perfection, otherwise you´ll create space for criticism. (The big sister of gossip. And she is mean too!) This creates a lot of stress, apart from making you seem completely paranoid. Weird!
3. It´s just kindergarden. One day there will come the day when you´ll grow out of it. It´s just no way to be for sensitive people. Empathy, compassion: yes. Nosiness and grilling people about something: no. Adults like to hang out with adults, so if you want to raise your level of intelligent conversations you´ll have to raise your expectations too and leave the cheap stuff out.
4. Teach people how you want to be treated. It´s not just you talking. I´ve said that before. But while you are gossiping here and there you are also giving people permission to treat you the same way. They will not take your secrets as serious. They will not take YOU as serious.
5. Attention! Attention! There are two good reasons for gossip: Either you want to draw the attention away from you (so people won´t see your problems and flaws) or to gain attention for acting like a human newsfeed. There might be better ways to achieve this goal. It´s always of much more benefit to yourself, as well as to all the listeners, to work on yourself and your own issues. Most people like others more if they have something to tell about their life. Being real. Being proud of what you have done. Not making people feel uncomfortable for hanging out with you. Because maybe, who knows, they will end up as your next catchline.
5 things I am grateful for today:
- finding Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie at our local food store.
- opening up a society6 store (more tomorrow)
- weekend, I need you, I need sleep
- working on a super fun project. I am the happiest when I get to illustrate.
- bacon for tomorrow´s breakfast! Ah, nice!
Friday friday happy friday hugs,