Everyone of us worries. It´s human. Worrying can keep us from being downright reckless. But there is a healthy limit to spending thoughts about bad things or negative possibilities. Some people obsess a lot more about the future than others. At some point worries can become a big problem, especially if you are trying to make plans. It´s the moment when self-confidence jumps out of the window and anxieties walk right in one moment later. Fear is a bad friend. This article is for everyone who feels a little trapped in their own swamp of thoughts sometimes. I thought about 5 things that are really important when you feel like you just want to make your brain freeze and stop.
Look fear right into the eye. Confronting your fears is one of the first basic steps. Most worries start out as a kind of bad feeling. Defining your thoughts and discovering what actually lies behind that abstract feeling will make it a lot easier to really cope with it, rather than just having a bad day without being able to do anything against it. You can think about what to do next, how to make plans and whom to ask for help, if it is necessary. The point is: make it real. Give it a name, so you can grab it.
Write it down. Get it all out. Write your worries down as precisely as you can. "I am afraid of making that certain call because I fear that this specific person might be mad at me." Focus on what the fear really is. I can tell you a little secret: I have been terribly nervous when making phone calls for a long period of time simply for the matter that I sometimes couldn´t understand people because of bad reception. I didn´t want them to repeat whatever they said because I was afraid they thought I was stupid. This made me very uncomfortable, yet I knew it was silly. I wrote it down into my diary and slowly the feeling resolved itself, because there was literally NOTHING I could do about it and I might as well tell the person on the phone that I didn´t quite get everything and that they need to repeat it again without making too much fuzz abou it. But I needed to get my thoughts out on paper and look at it to realize that the problem wasn´t even that big.
Talk about it. Getting help and a different perspective from outside might get you towards solutions that you would have never thought of. You are not alone with your worries anymore. Feeling alone with your anxieties and fears is one of the worst feelings in the world. Lifting that rock off of your shoulders will help you gain back your conscious mind and think about things rationally rather than emotionally and fearful.
Be in control. In some situations you will need to be really strict with yourself and not let your worries control your day to day life. Especially when working this can be quite an obstacle. Do not let fears and negative thinking intrude into your regular thinking. If you feel like it´s really important, set aside some 40 minutes later in the day for solving your problems and meanwhile jot them down on a little post-it so you won´t forget the different aspects. But for now: Be productive. Don´t let anything stop you from living.
Let your vision lead the way. Especially being afraid of the future can be a big thing. Visualising the future that you want, the ideal situation, will bring you a lot closer to your goal than seeing the bad possibilites sitting around the corner. You will free your mind from almost obsessing about a bad ending. Stress is a big factor when talking about worries. So relaxing, taking a bath, a nap or a yoga class can be very helpful. Take your obsession about bad situations and turn it into a virtue by obsessing about positive situations. What is the best possible outcome? Why are you happy with this solution? Can you see yourself there? How would you feel if this became reality? I guess you can see where I am going... :)
After all life is really short and it´s too precious to spend time on things that won´t make you happy.
5 things I am grateful for today:
- oreo cookie chocolate. Oh my God!
- Sleeping for less than 5 hours and still being happy and productive.
- Seeing the sunrise that looked just like the opening sequence of "The Lion King".
- My mother making yummy dinner for me.
- Seeing a man reading one of my favorite books on the train and simply being unable to hold back and tell him to get the follow-up book too. He blushed so much, but yet was happy to be in formed that there was another part of the story yet to be uncovered.
Happy Wednesday to you!!!