Just in case you don´t know what you should do tonight: Coffee and Cigarettes is a must see if you like Iggy Pop, Tom Waits, Kate Blanchett, Bill Murray and many more. (Did you know that Pete from Dharma & Greg is played by Joel Murray, who is the brother of Bill Murray? Crazy!) I love movies that don´t really have a classical storyline, but rather tell you everything in small details. It´s that way with Lost in Translation, My Neighbour Totoro and Windy Tales. There is no good and bad, no black and white, no victory and no loser. It´s just life.
Two weeks ago I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine. We talked about ficitional characters in movies or on television and whom we could identify with the most. The first thing that came to my mind was Pippi Longstocking, but I wasn´t really content with that. The question has not left me since that dialog. Until Friday. I came home from work and since I never watch TV, I sat down in front of my laptop and searched the internet for interior design inspiration. My apartment still needs a lot of furniture and I have total freedom in doing whatever I want to.
By the way, here it is, pure and unfurnised:
I remembered that I always loved the way Dharma´s apartment looked. Very colorful, very vivid, very cozy and homelike. Dharma&Greg still is one of my all time favorite comedy series. Growing up it had a huge impact on me. Seeing Dharma´s free spirit and quirky way on TV made me feel like I wasn´t the only one out there, who did not care so much about how somebody is "supposed to be" rather than striving to be happy and individual.
At the age of 16 I wanted to be like her so badly, I was even tempted to cut my hair short and try anything to grow taller. I was very much focused on the bodily aspect of her and since it never happened that I grew 5 inches overnight, I gave up on her. Studying and work distracted me and I wandered away from my origins.
Only when I sat down to watch the first couple of series this week, I realized that I have never actually understood her words from the heart as I do now. I sat there, mouth hanging open, being totally startled and amazed. My thoughts were very much like this "Oh my God! That´s just what I have said last week! How come I never realized?" I struggle with describing the kind of sensation that I felt when I realized that I had become more like her while not focusing that I could ever have managed when I had forced myself.
It is like discovering that Superman costume under your shirt after years. (Ok, not literally. Otherwise you should shower more… just a little hint.) As a teenager I have been making this all about looks and I was totally blind to the message behind it all. I could only feel that it had something that was attractive to me beyond words.
The only question left in the room is: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
I´d love to know your favorite fictional characters and why you identify with them. Did your favorite characters change over time? Do you identify yourself because others said that you were much alike or is it something you discovered yourself?
Eeeeek, I know it might be really hard to understand the joy that I feel right now, but I really feel very psyched about this. Hello dawn!!!!
This is my second day as a recurring vegetarian. I have already been a vegetarian from age 9 to 21, but then somehow I messed up with my nutrition (bad idea!), got serious anemia (bad idea too!) and started eating meat again. So for more than 5 years I have been sort of deaf to what my soul already knew:
I can´t eat animals.
I just can´t. There was never really a time when I ate lots of meat. In fact through most of my relationships I had to fight for eating vegetarian meals. At least with the men. But somehow I have gotten caught up in that pattern of ignoring that I am eating an animal. *runs away and hides* So anyway, I couldn´t be happier than I am right now. This feels so right. Like I aligned myself with my higher self a bit more. (Oh boy, here comes the crazy talk. But you know what I mean.)
Being this happy and grateful calls for a celebration, right? This is why I made myself the most rewarding cake my brain could come up with at that point:
What you´ll need:
350 grams of butter
100 grams of dark chocolate
400 grams of flour
350 grams of sugar
1,25 kg of cherries
4 eggs (medium size)
125 grams of starch
2 teaspoons of baking powder
Melt 100 grams of butter slowly.
For the crumbles mix 200 grams of flour, a pinch of salt, 100 grams of sugar and a pinch of bourbon vanilla. Add the butter and the dark chocolate and blend everything together. Then keep everything cold for about 30 minutes.
Mix 250 grams of butter, 250 grams of sugar, a pinch of bourbon vanilla and salt.
Take 200 grams of flour, add the starch and the baking powder.
Mix both the sugar-egg-butter part and the flour-starch-baking powder part together. Grease a baking pan and preheat the oven to 175°. Fill the dough into the baking pan, add a layer of cherries (carfully press them into the dough) and finally add another layer of your crumbles. And into the oven it goes! It should be ready after 35 to 40 minutes.
Let it cool down inside of the pan, then cut it into pieces and enjoy!
A fine little song to play while you make the cake. I hope you enjoy your life right now at this very moment. Let me send you a hug. Mwah!
I has been a very tough week. I don´t even know where to start. As I sit back and observe my own patterns, it feels like I have been living like a blind person up til now. I feel like I have missed out so much magic by letting my ego rule. It´s not that I fight with myself and think that I am a horrible person (though that sometimes happens…), but rather generally growing much more aware of the impact that my words and actions have on others. I plan on going back to vegetarian, as I do not plan to cause any more suffering. One big thing and source of this thought has been Halcyon´s tip for Burning Man which said "Leave no trace."
I think that this is the least you can do for this planet. Leave no trace. Do not destroy more than you need to. If I cannot manage to make this world a better place, I at least should not make it worse. Eating animals causes suffer. I cannot and will not try to tell others what to do. But I go and shine the light and if anyone else feels inspired to follow, what more could I hope for? Which brings me back to Byron Katie´s video:
If you mean it, walk it. That´s much more attractive. So this is what I´ll do now. I will still be giving out advice if you need it. (That´s what my formspring box is here for, waiting for you.) But I will rather start here with a more private journey, devoted to my daily discoveries, away from the shoulds & woulds.
The next big thing is that I finally have an apartment. Signed contract and everything. It´s mine. My little hiding place. It will still take some weeks until I can finally move in, but I feel bliss all over.
This post might seem a bit unorganized (I know it is!), but I finished working at 2am today and I´m very tired. Film shootings at night are so exciting, especially if you get to see old friends again. Everything felt like a giant family celebration, except that there were cameras, costumes, make-up and spotlights included. It´s amazing how the universe manages to bring people together and makes them feel connected instantly. Every moment felt like a warm hug, lots of laughter and smiles included.
So, as you are sitting in front of your screen, let me tell you that I am sorry for not being around so much lately and also let me thank you from the bottom of my heart. The internet is an endless space and yet you somehow found your way here to read these lines. Thank you so much. It´s an amazing honor. This blog journey has been so rewarding to me and I really do appreciate every single one of the loving comments and emails that I find in my inbox or on this blog. You have no idea what they mean to me.
I´ve been doing my "5 things I am grateful for today" for over a year now! Wowsy! I´ve been thinking of brining them together on a weekly post. Because sometimes there are more than just 5 things and sometimes they need more explanation than at the end of a post.
I´m not sure what to name it yet. Maybe something like "the Gratitude Journey" or something. I´ll come up with it. In order to celebrate the anniversary (over 2 months later, ermherm....) I made a little video.
I will be signing the contract for my apartment on Tuesday. There is some part of my brain that doesn´t realize that this is actually happening. But when it does, I need a letout. Which mostly happens to be dancing and singing the weirdest songs. ("Hellooooo....DOLLY....This is Louissssss DOLLY!")
Recently I spend a lot of time offline, just sitting with myself somewhere silent or harvesting peaches or reading books about interior design. There is something waiting inside of me that will show me where my path is about to go, but I´m not there yet. I get very thrilled when I watch Etsy´s Handmade Portraits series because I would LOVE to have such a life. To sit at home, doing my thing, struggeling, working hard, but being ultimately fullfilled with what I am doing. I´m just not yet at the point where I know what everything will look like.
But even the chance alone, that I have the opportunity to become everything that I want is something that I could spill tears of joy for. Even right now, I feel them coming up. I am so priviledged with this life of mine. With the troubles and struggles and blessings that have brought me here. To the point where I can just sit and listen to what the Universe wants to tell me. What it wants me to be.
I know that this is something that will not happen overnight. But I know it will include my hands and probably not as much the computer as it does now. Maybe it will take me months to figure it out. Maybe I´ll get there when I´m 50. I can wait. I will learn every lesson very carefully so that I will be ready when the time has come.
Be happy and grateful for the small and the big things in your life. I know that we live in a society that has taught us that complaining is the big deal. Listen to conversations. Even when I hear people talking about their vacations, they come up with the stories of what went wrong first. Like if that were the more interesting story. As if talking about good stuff made you a rude, egocentric and superficial person.
No, don´t even get into that. Let´s not be drama queens. The world has enough pain to offer on its own. We don´t need to bathe in drama. I decided that before I start to complain about something, just so that I could talk to somebody, I will rather say nothing. I will rather smile. In silence.
I will not bring more suffering to this world than there already is.
I downright adore the mameshiba series. The combination of trivia and cute bean-dogs is adorable! I had to laugh a lot when I saw them for the first time. If you haven´t seen the episodes so far, here they are for you!
Recently the cute Kyary Pamyu Pamyu made a collaboration with the mameshiba dogs!
All you have to do to enter is:
Be a follower of this blog with Google Friend Connect and tell me: What is your favorite trivia? (Click "Follow" in the side bar and use your Google/Blogger, Twitter, Yahoo or Aim account. Sometimes the button doesn´t show up. Please reload in case that should happen. The gadget is a bit strange on Firefox. Sorry for that.) Be sure to leave your email address at your comment so I can contact you. Please leave your address in the format of username(at)platform(dot)com to make sure no spambot can find you. Comments without an email adress won´t be taken into the drawing. You must do this entry first to be eligible for additional entries.
To gain additional entries you can:
blog (or Tumblr!) about the giveaway and include a link,
tweet about the giveaway and link to this blogpost (tweets without working links will not be taken into the drawing)
Congratulations to Yuki! The Dolly Wink lashes will be sent to you soon! If you weren´t the lucky winner this time, be sure to check on the blog tomorrow, because that is the time when I will be giving away something new!
Here in Austria school holidays started this Friday. It´s the first time for me that I won´t return home with a school certificate in my hands. Very weird feeling when you know your time of being a student is over. My brother and I used to sit together and talk about the joys and difficulties we experienced, the teachers and our favorite subjects. Now it´s more a monologue.
Some sort of sadness took hold of me. I liked being a student. Not necessarily for of the social aspect of it. I was never the kind of girl to sit in a large group. I always carefully chose the people that I wanted to spend more time with, as their attitudes and thoughts rub off on me. I liked being a student for the time you had for a lesson. It was not tied down to money. The pressure was different. But then again as I sit here on this hot summerday, I know that I am still learning. You never stop to be a student of life.
Recently I learned to surrender to the fact that I am still a beginner and that I will always stay one. If you are a beginner, you have the mindset of somebody who is interessted and open to everything. Every single aspect is something new, something you still need to take in. You are curious.
Imagine it like learning japanese and trying to read a newspaper. Every character is something new and you look forward to understanding it. You will need to repeat some lessons, because occassionally you forget what you have already learned. Life is a language after all. Every soul on this planet speaks the same language, but our ability to speak it is burried under expectations and the rat race we are all supposed to be in.
For today let´s relax and enjoy the holiday mood that happy students spread around us!